Almost all my workplace Year End Tasks are due this Friday. We'll get them all done, but it makes for a very full week :)

Gratitude List:

1. only having to drive about a mile in this morning's fog
2. my roommate keeping me from sleeping egregiously late
3. doing Secret Santa at my workplace
4. lunch with my roommate
5. Dr. Pepper
6. keeping as many of my ToDos on my Treo, so it's easier to notice when I've overscheduled myself
7. changing my expectations when I realize I've overscheduled myself!
8. I really like managing people :)
9. homemade sugar scrub
10. knowing I have good pasta and frozen vegetables just waiting for me to come home and prepare them.

Today is a traditional carol - the Holly and the Ivy. I like it, even though the lyrics don't really make a lot of sense to me. macfrode theorizes that it's because it's an old pagan carol that may have been Christianized, which makes sense.

Enjoy.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

I think that the entire saga of (deep breath)

Voyager Babe/StrWriter/Victoria Bitter/Amy Player/Mr. Frodo/Jordan Wood/Andrew Blake

Should be recapped in a corporate style power point presentation. It would be EPIC.

I've written the table of contents.

How could it possibly go wrong?

Dear VH1:

I am very enthusiastic that you run adds for things like the "Trojan Vibrating Mini"₁

However, are you really sure that "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" is the appropriate venue?

Really?


1. With the caveat that there are far far far better personal um, entertainment devices out there, and my sixth sense says the 'vibrating mini' probably sucks.

More Straight No Chaser - this time, it's their famous 12 Days of Christmas. I love it. Especially the end.

I'm so buying this CD for Christmas - it's definitely one of my new favorites.

So I'm settling in with my tea and my computer and my stove to do Christmassy stuffs today. The to-do list is as follows:

1. Make chocolate fudge both batches made and hardening
2. Make chocolate popcorn hardening in the freezer!
3. Pack up goodie baskets for argus7hills' coworkers
4. Bake cranberry walnut bread in the oven!
5. Address Christmas cards
6. Write!
7. Birka Merchant Registrations
8. Reload iTunes on computer

Now off to do my advent post and then nuke some chocolate. It's fudge time!

Edit 1: Oh look, snow! Falling from the sky! How fascinating! :P

Seriously. Even a writing one!

Did a lot of good brainstorming tonight (once I beat the headache into submission) and I think I have a lot of the backplot done for Last Rites. My goal for tomorrow is to turn said brainstorming into a workable plot outline, so I can start writing the damn thing. I think I may do a bit more brainstorming as well, but I've got the motivations for the four major characters and (finally!) an idea as to what my antag is doing and why. It's actually pretty cool, and I get to go back to a plot thread that I put into Book 1 (yay, continuity!) and use it. I'm pleased.

I'm also seeing how my process is changing for each book. I'm looking more into the worldbuilding and character aspects and using those to create the story. I think it's getting deeper, which is good. Maybe not so many rewrites this time?

As to whether or not I will actually make my deadline - that's still up in the air. We'll see how much outline I get done tomorrow. I think I'm keeping the beginning I have, though. I like Amy and Derek.

So thank you again, FM Chatters, for putting up with my blatherings again. You guys rock!

There is only one true version of this song, done by the original Catwoman herself, the great Eartha Kitt.




Although Kelly Pickler does a very good version too. But really, I prefer the original.

Gratitude List:

1. the lacy bits of ice on my car's windshield this morning
2. Bojangles for breakfast
3. looking forward to my workplace's Holiday party tonight
4. posting reviews to GoodReads
5. getting a nifty new-to-me bookcase
6. visiting with a friend and her adorable youngster

Hard Row by Margaret Maron


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
If you're looking for a cozy, (a character driven mystery story that focuses on the people involved as much as the mystery) look no further. I'm glad I listened to the audiobook version. It's slow pace is well suited to being told, rather than read.

When I read it I thought it was the first in the series. Come to find out, it's the 13th. Oops. Originally, I was willing to forgive some of the slowness as setting the scene - but by book 13, the scene is already well set. The writing is okay, and the characters have a lot of depth, but the mystery took a distant 2nd or 3rd place to the goings ons in the characters' lives. I may pick up some of the others in this series, but only if I find them at the library as audiobooks.

View all my reviews >>

Beyond Stitch and Bitch: Reflections on Knitting and Life by Afi-Odelia Scruggs


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
A beautiful collections of essays with a few knitting patterns worked into it.

View all my reviews >>

I'm about to go to a 12 hour blues & blue grass festival. My ride will be here any second. I'm not even dressed yet. I wanna stay home and watch the WANK!

The Not Quite So Triumphant Return of Victoria Bitter. Long time fans remember, back in 02 and 03, the saga of Tent Moot, Bit of Earth, and the Domlijah Tinhats, a convention for the soul purpose of meeting the actors. Claims of channeling dead gay hobbits. You know, the usual.

It's all here Fandom Wank Wiki entry.

To sum up, a young woman named Amy Player, known in the LOTR circles as Victoria Bitter (VB), moves to Oregon to be with her love, Orange Blossom (OB). There are lot of hijinks of the kind that result in felony fraud charges, stranded third string Elves and their bands from New Zealand, and the person you owe the most money two writing a book about how awful you are.

Over the course of the Saga, VB had a fake death, and re emerged as Jordan Wood, the secret brother of Elijah Wood, who was on the run from the IRA.

2004 saw the sending of one of the best fake internet lawyer letters of all time It's even more special cause they sent it to Leonard Nimoy

For reasons it would get absurd to even try to explain, VB and Orange Blossom spent the next several years in costume at tourist attraction in LA. VB was Legolas. Was Nightcrawler. Was Frodo (possibly the reincarnated spirit of. It's complicated. There were Ring Wraiths spouting Shakespere involved) And most importantly for this story? Harry Potter

Eventually Jordan (secretly cousin or brother of Elijah) Wood gets called out, shit hits the fan, and inpatient treatment is involved. In 2007, there is a reappearance, and apology, and a new trial scam.

Note at this point: The only thing everyone agrees on is that VB has lived, dressed, and presented as a man since um, 2003. Thus, for clarification: He's a he now. What ever name Victoria Bitter/Jordan Wood/ Amy Player goes by? He's a boy named Amy.

PICTURES HERE: http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/401495.html

Which brings us to today's AWESOME WANK:
There is a massively popular Harry Potter fanfic. Called DAYD, Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness. It's now at two novels and an extended universe. By all accounts, it has the addictive power of the early years of Draco in Leather pants. DAYD is about to have it's first convention in Washington DC next weekend.₁

The author of the DAYD stories? thanfiction? A guy named Andy Blake. Andy is 25. Claims to have been rejected from the military, but a member of at least three paramilitary groups. ₂

I'll let him talk: I've tried several times to join the Muggle military, but keep being denied for medical reasons that aren't under my control. I've fought with three different paramilitias, though, and I've got a 14" scar on my chest taken in a pub fight when I was 16 (yes, I know I shouldn't have been IN the pub) because I got in the face of a very large gentleman whose feminine companion did not appear interested in departing the premesis in his company. That sword on the wall? Decorative my ass...or rather, it wound up decorating my chest.....

....Traveling to a dozen countries with nothing more than a sachel and the clothes on my back? Being under fire more than once and never looking back on my conduct there with shame? Looking the leader of a Belfast paramilitia in the eye and telling him that I'd be fighting BOTH with him AND his enemy for two weeks each to decide for myself who was in the right? That's why I call myself brave, not because I'd like to be an Auror if I were in the Potterverse. ₂

Andy has a love of 7 years who broke his heart- she even took his child. He's 5 foot 8, and has a lightening scar on his forehead. He's never been to school a day in his life, he has a near fatal heart condition that will kill him in 10 years. He will never see 35.

Andy also takes commissions on his Art. See it all on his Devient Art Page. Sadly Andy's not a very good artist. He's als clearly putting things together in photoshop and painting over them- hence half the artwork is decent, and the other half? It's got a serious case of Hed Pasted On. Yeh! ₃

In short: Andy's a pathological liar who has created his persona on a mix of Solid Snake, bad Irish war movies, a pretense to allow for a sympathy fundraiser and internet death. The folks over at fake_lj_death are all over this one. And despite it all, thanfiction's apparently a pretty compelling author.

Andy Blake is also Victoria Bitter. There is photo proof, and it's all over Fandom Wank. Check the post out http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1231688.html


We have: Domlijah, LOTR, Bit of Earth, Tentmoot, the reincarnation and channeling of dead gay hobbits. Hollywood busking, Harry Potter Fans. Fake deaths, fake lawsuits, and blindingly fake personas. Terrible art with the Hed's Pasted on. And a novel that's actually pretty darn good. ₄

What we have here is the Uber Wank the one wank that shall lead us through the winter. The Cylon Baby Jesus could not have gotten me a better present.



1. The site was chosen, to quote:
Where: Washington DC (chosen because it is a major transportation hub, which makes airfare/train/bus cheaper than somewhere less central, also makes for high availability of cheap motel rooms. . Clearly no one involved has ever actually been to DC. As a hint, based on the travel advice they offer: If you are going to have to get a super super cheap greyhound fare? And don't have a free place to stay booked in DC? You can't afford to visit.
Trust me on this.

2. Given the various peace accords, this means he would have been a Irish paramilitary, at the age of 10. For both sides. When making up lies, do check the basic math of your story. My suspicion about what the paramilita leader would have actually done is "Call Child Protective Services"

3. Hed Pasted On! Yeh! comes from the Crystal Wank, a transcendent moment of the internet coming together to mock. Unsurprisingly, Domlijah was also involved.

4. It was all worth it for the IM Chat logs of the Ring Wraith being channeled- they spoke in Iambic Pentameter.

I was quite taken with last night's performance of Cinderella by the Raleigh Little Theatre. Here's the email I just sent to them:

Hello!

I attended Cinderella last night, and loved it. Cinderella's voice was like the love child of clear bells and sugar cookies. Sugar and Spice had such a bouncy energy I wish I could bottle it to sip on dull winter nights. Prince Charming, and young Prince Charming both melted me. The whole production was a delight.

Please thank everyone for me! It was outstanding :)

1. having dated Mah Sweetie for 14 months :)
2. seeing Cinderella last night
3. with Mah Sweetie :)
4. and getting a copy of Hippy Crafts from him as a Mensaversary gift
5. Strombolli's for lunch
6. sleeping under a down comforter
7. looking forward to my workplace's holiday party tomorrow night
8. this morning's slim crescent moon hanging over a sheet of pinkgold clouds
9. looking forward to Secret Santa at my workplace next week
10. having a big water bottle at my desk

Nitzer Ebb tonight at the Hangar! Haven't seen this band ever, so I'm excited. Who else is going?

Anyone who uses the phrase "That's being too PC" to shut down a discussion is defacto, automatically an asshole.

Yes?

Catching up again.

Thursday's carol is a double from Celtic Women - because I love these performers.





And the dance of the snowflakes from the Nutcracker, for Friday.

• 14:30 Dear women in Dove hair repair commercial: If you don't fry your hair with chemicals and hot metal, you don't need to repair it. Thx. Me.

It's 0 degrees here, colder by a lot with the windchill this morning. I thought about things, and realized that it would be a great day to drive my nice warm car somewhere, rather than standing about for the bus and on train platforms.

I go downstairs, equipped for the Arctic: Down 3/4 coat. Jeans, leggings, a t-shirt, a t-shirt dress. Awesome heavy wool socks. The yellow down snow boots. And the amazingly unattractive yet warm winter set: The orange and blue deep winter snow hat. The super snow gloves, and a scarf to top the whole thing off.

I can't get the drivers side door open. It's iced shut.

Cue the comedy of a large woman, dressed in enough clothing to make the Michelin Man seem tiny, tumbling over the bucket seats of a mid sized sedan.

The engine doesn't start. I try again. It doesn't start. The radio is on, the lights are on, the wipers are trying to run. But the car isn't starting. Oh, and than for great victory the check engine and the battery lights are on.

I concede defeat. Push open the drivers side door. Add my giant backpack to the equation, along with the tote bag for when I take the boots/hat/gloves off. And I go take the motherfucking bus to work.

They tell you about how cold the snow is, and how things get wet. But nobody ever mentions to you how it SOUNDS. The crunch crunch crunch of dry snow and ice on the sidewalk is something I never experienced before I moved here.

At work, I'm late for my third 9 am conference call in a row, each for a new and progressively awful reason. Luckily, (insert 30 min story about work here) it's well, whatever.

Later in the afternoon I call the Sears by my house, that's on the bus line. They are open to 7. I call AAA. Due to the cold they are very busy, and prioritizing service/towing for people in physical danger. Which, all things considered, I'm not. I'm just irritated. And it's going to be like four hours before they can get there- no way I'll make 7.

So I say fuck it, stay at work till 6:30. Suit back up to go home, wait on the platform, wait on the bus, walk the two blocks of icy loud snow. Thank you Cylon Baby Jesus, it's 80 degrees in my (free heat) house.

Tomorrow morning I get to get up early, take a shower, call AAA, be ready to suit up, and have their technician do a battery swap? or a diagnostic, than either get towed or drive to sears, depending. Unless they are charging a fortune, while there, I'm getting a remote start installed.

All I want is a single week where nothing major breaks. I am tired of dealing with this. Between ceilings and cars and snow and all I want is a nap. And for it to be January.